did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
