Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
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Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
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well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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