My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
