my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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