you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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