Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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