I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
