you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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