Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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