My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize