i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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