that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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