I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
