it was like eating out sand paper
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
