if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
