just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
