the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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