I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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