The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dicks are not precious.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
