I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
