I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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