Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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