i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
