Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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