He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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