It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
