I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
