I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
