He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
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i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
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You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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