KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize