We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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