My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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