you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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