Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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