She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i need some magic done to my vagina
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
