where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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