you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
