I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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