just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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