Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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