This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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