Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
