I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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