But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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