You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
