It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize