So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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