When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Non-Jews are for practice
operation have a gay friend backfired
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
