Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
