My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
