dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
