It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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