I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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