Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
