just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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