Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
