Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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