Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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