Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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