I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
