I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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