omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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