Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize