3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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